by Nikki Massie
Inspired by my final project for my Cross Cultural Communications class, I did just that. My objective for the semester? Learn all I can about the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). Of course, I read the encyclopedia's entry on the country, the United Nations Human Development Index (HDI) and other sources, but as part of my assignment I was required to do just what my grandfather said - go out and meet a local.
I didn't expect to get enchanted in the process.
Meet Hussein. He's a 19 year-old freshman at Notre Dame of Maryland University. Prior to traveling to the United States to study, he'd lived his entire life in the Kantanga Province, in the southern portion of the DRC, near Zambia.
I met Hussein through the English Language Institute of NDM. After several email exchanges, Hussein invited me to meet him in the common room of his dormitory for the interview. It was a cold night and I was not very familiar with the dormitory set-up at NDM (being a commuter student). Still I managed to arrive on time. After
His Background
Hussein is the oldest of six children. He has four sisters and a brother. He's from the Katanga Province but his home village is called Lubumbashi. Hussein says he grew up most of his life around his extended family, especially his maternal aunt, his nuclear family and his cousins.
By American standards, Hussein comes from a middle-class family. His father is a physician and his mother is a psychologist. When I asked Hussein if he agreed to being called middle class he said yes and that most of his social circle growing up came from families similar to his.
On Religion
Hussein said that his mother's family was Catholic and his father's was Methodist. When his parents married, his mother joined the Methodist church. When I asked him about other religions he wasn't aware of many non-Christian religions but he did say he knows a fair amount of atheists.
On Social Class
While Hussein's family is what might be considered middle class, he says his father comes from humble roots. "He had to work hard to put himself through medical school," Hussein says of his father, who is a general doctor with an emphasis on nutrition. "He had to stop several times but he kept going back." His father even delayed marrying his mother until he finished school.
On Language
"French is the proper language. You must know it to get a good job," says Hussein. He said he mostly learned English from television and music. He also speaks Lingala and Swahili fluently. He shares that language can say a lot about a person. In his region, there are tensions between his village, Lubumbashi, and other neighboring villages. When I asked how he could tell if someone was from outside his village he replied, "they usually don't speak the same language." Upon further research, with more than 200 native languages, that's now not surprising to me.
On Dating/Courtship
This was by far the liveliest part of our discussion. Hussein said that dating in the DRC is not like in the United States. He feels he can date all he wants - but his parents don't need to know about it. From his perspective European families are more progressive and tolerant of dating freely. Most families in the DRC don't allow dating that way. Instead, it's supervised.
When I asked Hussein how it would go when he was ready to get married he told me this. "When I find a girl I want to marry, I have to tell my parents this is who I want to marry. If they approve, it proceeds to the next step: meeting the girl's family." From there, Hussein says, the families would agree on a dowry and a wedding date would be set.
Hussein said that, like in the United States, most weddings in his village take place in the church with a reception following. Hussein says he currently has a girlfriend here in the states - she's studying in Wisconsin - but his parents don't know about her.
On Gender Roles
Being a technically adolescent male, it's understandable that Hussein has limited knowledge about gender roles. When asked to describe women versus men's roles he shared that both his parents worked. His mother and aunt were his primary caretakers when he was a child, although he spent a good deal of time with his father as well. He said he saw a fair amount of women entrepreneurs in his village - they owned shops and sold clothes and things like that.
On Food
A dish called bakari is the main staple in the diets of families in his village, Hussein said. When I asked him to tell me what bukari is, he struggled. After several phone consultations (with accompanying Pinterest photos) we determined that bakari is what I know as fufu, a mash of cassava or yams that is used as the base for stews and other meals. Hussein confirmed this to me when he explained that you eat bakari by scooping it up in little balls in your fingers and then using the balls of the mash to scoop up stew or meat. Hussein was familiar with the term foo-foo, when I mentioned it, although he knew the food as bakari at home.
In addition to bakari, he said his family eats all kinds of vegetables. He noted they eat various kinds of meat, including goat, cow, chicken and turkey. The last surprised me. I relayed that in working with people around the world, some cultures I'd experienced - especially people from various parts of Africa - were perplexed by turkeys but Hussein said he was familiar with the bird.
When I asked Hussein what he thought of American food he said he didn't like most of it. He was thankful he had cousins in the state who welcomed him on weekends where he could get a good home-cooked meal. He said he was not fond of things that were too sweet or salty, but that he does like very spicy food.
On Coming to America
When I asked Hussein about what he liked to do back home he became a bit reminiscent. "I enjoyed playing futbol," he told me. Then, quickly correctly himself, he said, "I mean soccer." I can't explain it but the word soccer sounded especially foreign coming from his mouth. I told him I knew soccer is called futbol in most other places and that it was fine to call it that with me but he insisted on saying soccer, as if he was trying to break himself of the habit of calling it futbol.
Besides that he said he enjoyed talking with friends and hanging out with them. He enjoys music. He listens to hip-hop, especially French rap. He said those are the things e misses the most.
The thing that surprised him the most about coming to America, he says, is how hard it is to master English. "I thought I spoke good English before I came here," he said. "Now not so much."
What Surprised me about Hussein
After we talked for about two hours (and I shared as much about my background as he shared about his), Hussein walked me to my car and bid me good night.
I was overwhelmed by several feelings at once. First, there was gratitude. I was an absolute pain to deal with. My schedule had me scheduling and rescheduling our meetings and he took it all in stride, never once refusing a time I proposed.
What also surprised me about this young man is that his story was so different from all the stories of struggle I'd heard from African nations. I worked with refugees for nine years and I've heard more than my fair share. Especially after hearing the story of the Makano family (that my church assisted in resettling as refugees from the DRC), I expected that Hussein would have some sense of the unrest. But his perspective was that of a middle class young man from a middle class family. He admitted there were some tensions between people from different villages, but his life was not defined by the conflict and struggle I'd read about in the encyclopedia.
In the end I think my grandfather was right. By "meeting a local" I got a different and valuable perspective about the DRC - and I may have made a friend!
No comments:
Post a Comment